Is my partner truly prepared to help me in childbirth?
Do a quick google or amazon search on “childbirth preparation” you will get a list of results that are overwhelmingly geared towards you, the pregnant person. You might notice that there are very few books written that would help prepare your partner for childbirth.
Why is this a problem for me?
How you are cared for and supported during childbirth affects how you give birth and how you feel about it. How you feel about your birth experience can also influence how you feel about your own ability in being a mother as well as affect your chance of developing postpartum depression and anxiety. Knowing this, it’s pretty clear that ongoing emotional and physical support during the very transformative experience of birth is of the utmost importance.
What about a doula?
A doula is a person who provides continuous and on-going emotional, physical and informational support for the labouring person. It has been shown that doulas help to reduce the rates of interventions, including epidural use and c-sections and help to increase reported satisfaction in birth experience. In other words, having a doula increases the chance of having HEALTHY AND HAPPY parent and baby.
But what if I can’t have a doula?
Not everyone can access a doula. Even though having doulas would actually reduce health costs, increase positive outcomes and would be a good basic addition to any healthcare system, hiring a doula is not possible for everyone.
At the time of this writing, COVID-19 virus (simply referred to as coronavirus) is emerging as a global and local public health concern that is resulting in changes in hospital policies. Hospitals are restricting the number of people who can attend births, in some cases reducing it to only one person, usually just your partner. As a doula, when I attend births, the more support the birther can receive, the better their experience. Sometimes, in addition to their partner and me (their doula), their own mother and/ or a friend will be there too. So this change in policy can greatly impact your birth experience and well-being.
How should my partner best prepare to support me?
Here are some tips to help your partner be your “doula”
- Communication! Be honest about your fears around childbirth and be honest about your partner’s strengths and weaknesses in handling high stress situations. Play up those strengths and how they can be best used to help you during labour and childbirth
Take a high quality prenatal class that focuses on teaching techniques and skills that your partner can use to help you during labour and childbirth. We at Your Downtown Doula offer HypnoBirthing classes for a comprehensive approach to help you feel relaxed and confident during childbirth and labour.
Labour at home for as long as possible. If the concerns around infection still exist at the time of your childbirth, then reducing your hospital stay is a good idea. Your partner can help you with relaxation, help distract you, do massage and attend to your basic needs. Doing most of your labouring at home can also reduce unnecessary interventions.
A great book for partners is Penny Simkin’s The Birth Partner. It is specific to doulas and partners and contains very comprehensive information.
Don’t have time to read a 374 page text book or attend a 5 week class? We have the perfect solution:
The Your Downtown Doula Academy Prepared Partners Course is perfect for pregnant moms who want to fully prepare their partners to become their own doula without going to more classes, reading a thick textbook or just “winging it”.
Because we know you’re scared, and we want to support you in having the best possible birth,
we are offering 30% off this course with the promo code SUPPORT at check out.
This offer will be available until the current COVID-19 crisis is over.